[S9E10] Things We Said Today
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Andrea Goseco 5:24Another is resilience. So resilience is something I think I picked up from my parents. So they taught me how to be resilient. And I feel like it's something that is very useful right now, especially with leaders and teams. It's the ability to be able to bounce back and resilience, combined with grit, also the ability to be able to persevere and to finish a task, no matter how difficult it is. And I think that's so important, especially in the world we live in today, where it's ever changing, so challenging, so many things happening. So if you use resilience, you're able to really face the situation head on, and you're able to bounce back from it and and come out as a winner.
Andrea Goseco 8:02So this client I was talking to, I said, OK, let's start with maybe outside work, and then we go to work. So what are the little things that excite you outside work And you know, she started thinking; she said, \"You know, I like watching Netflix.\" \"Oh, Netflix. OK, tell me why you like watching Netflix.\" And she said, \"Oh, I like watching Netflix because I'm able to see how people think and how they react to different situations. I like trying to read them, trying to anticipate their next move.\" Right. So I said, \"That's great.\" And she said, \"Also at home, I like spending time with my family. I like also calling friends, building close relationships with them.\" And then I said, \"OK, great so what about work What was it like at work\" And she said, \"Oh, I work, I like in a meeting, I like being able to read people. I like being able to, to see what their thoughts are, what their motivations are, what drives them to do a certain task.\"
Andrea Goseco 10:43And throughout the coaching conversation -- I do a 6-month coaching conversation with people -- I always bring that back. Every time that I feel like they're losing their way or every time that, let's say, they're not able to go to the committed things that they're supposed to do, or the areas that they're supposed to work on, I go back to purpose. This is aligned to your purpose; this is connected to who you are. And it's, like I said earlier, strengths can be an anchor, and it really is an anchor when you use it strongly with purpose. Another -- go ahead.
Andrea Goseco 17:42Yeah, so I like that question, Saurav, because I love uncovering blind spots. And maybe that's something -- one of the things I can share with you today, how I uncover blind spots. So blind spots, because blind, you can't see it, right. And reasons why we can't see blind spots is, one, is we don't want to admit that it's there. You know, we see it as like furniture, and you don't want to, you're so used to seeing it, we don't want to even admit that it's there. So we're afraid of it. And another one is, we really don't know; we're really blind to it.
Andrea Goseco 30:50I mentioned also, during the day, when you feel like you're low energy, you can even look at your Top 5 strengths. So it's like a, it's like a, what do you call this, it's like a guide that you always kind of refer to all the time. So you look at it and say, \"Oh, I feel like maybe Ideation is missing, or I feel like maybe Connectedness is missing, or I feel like, I need to be able to check, do a checklist, and I have Achiever, and maybe there's certain things I feel like I haven't achieved. So maybe, how can I create small wins So it's, it's finding, it's a clue also to why you don't feel engaged. So you can always refer to your Top 5 strengths and think about which among these, these themes are not being addressed today, and that I need to do more of
Andrea Goseco 41:44So the story I shared with you earlier about the person who was very strong in Command, do you know what happened to her So after our 6, 6-month coaching program, and actually it was already showing at the third or fourth month, she said, \"Oh, what's happening You know, people are just approaching me, asking me questions. That's never happened before!\" And she was telling me, \"I was always the one who was telling them what to do. But, but now, they're the ones going to me. They're the ones asking me questions. They're the ones giving suggestions, without me even telling them. What did I do\" I was like, \"Ask yourself what you did.\" And she said, \"Oh, I remember now. It's these little things I thought were little but they're actually big things.\"
Andrea Goseco 42:19So it's a, it's like I said, it's these things I just shared with you, it's the, it has to first start with intention. It has to first start with caring for the person that you're talking to. Because if you just do it, \"Oh, it's a job. I have to do it because it's a job. I have to do this because I have to hit my numbers.\" So you have to do it also with, \"I really care for this person.\" And it's going to show, because if you don't start with that, the person that you're talking to will see it. So it's approaching it with that kind of empathy. So trying to connect with them, trying to just listen to them and care about them. I think that's important.
Andrea Goseco 54:58So let's say, I had a client before, really, really great in what he was doing; he was like the \"think pack\" of the organization, like really genius. But the thing is, he did, he felt he was great. And he didn't want to listen to anyone. And so what I did with him -- but he had a lot of things that he had to work on, because he thought he was so good that he thought that other ideas were not good, or he wasn't listening to other people. So the way I approached it was, I asked, I used it again in the lens of strengths. And I said, \"OK, so let's look at your top strengths. And let's look at the ways where this can really get in the way.\" And so he saw that.
Andrea Goseco 56:28And so with thinkers like that, they just like to, you know, just think and say and say and say things. So I was like, \"Just pause.\" So you're also helping them learn the value of thinking, of pause. \"I'll give you a few minutes. Think about it.\" And then he did. He was like, \"Oh, wait a minute, there was this time with this person ... .\" I was like, \"There! Exactly.\" So I was more gentle with him. I said, \"OK, so now that you see that,\" again, I tied it up with purpose. \"Remember, you said that you wanted to be this kind of a leader. You wanted this to happen. You wanted to make this impact in the organization. So now, if you focus on these areas that they're talking about, how will this help you reach your goal\"
Andrea Goseco 57:03See, so there's a, when they see the value of \"I don't want to do that,\" they're saying that it's not important. But when they see how important it is for them, how it's tied up to their motivation, or their, it's tied up to their purpose, then they're going to want to do it. So yeah, so with that question, it's really a more gentle approach, more of encouraging, more of, like, acknowledging all the time what he's saying. But of course, there are things that you don't agree on. You, know, you just be quiet, just say mmm, just nod your head, just listen. Because I don't agree -- I mean, if there are things that I don't agree with, I don't say like, \"Yes, I agree.\" You know, I'm very honest anyway. So I, I just say like, \"OK, yes, you said that. OK, I see that. Uh-huh.\"
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